As usual .. doing some serious thinking, and yet, leads me to the moody i having now. Looking at my future, I dun think i see any light, i see darkness, i see fear .. i see lonliness..
My course end soon, real soon and it will be the time for me to move on to next stage. What I had study previously is all wasted, TOTAL WASTE ! IS not wat i want ! IS not wat i like ! I fail to pass few subjects, and yet, I having financial prob which cause me never take the last resit before my date line. And now, I will never get my cert ..
I've cried when i talking to my pet sis .. rachel, i pretend to be nothing at all ... i pretend to be happy. But wat is playing all the while, is my depression. I not good in studies at all, besides I really weak in it. I got something that at least i like abit. Is wat i study now, Multimedia. But think properly... what i plan to do next time, there is no connection to what i've study now. Have I make a wrong move ? Have i choose the wrong road ? i doubt so..
Stressful life, mom giving tons of pressure. All my mom think is bout money, whenever she reminds me bout it .. i feel like screaming over and over again. Goin overseas.. yeah .. part of my plan. The main reason is not study.. the main reason is just plain run away from home, get away from parents for a long period of time. I really need sometime to think what i want to be, what i want to work as. Is kinda late to think now. But i want to .. i want to figure all over again, i want to restart the game of life. Is a completely chaos by now. I feel lost .. really lost .. just like wat rachy told me .. "I've lost, seriously, I do not know what to do next" ..
Yeah .. Same do I .. ur big bro here .. lost his way as well ... What is the purpose I living in this world ? What is the purpose i study this course ? This sub ? God .. tell me .. .. HAve i take the wrong road ? God .. pls show me .. give me a sign .. pls send a butterfly.
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